February 26, 2012
Babu: You’re a very kind man. Very kind, thank you. Very kind… Jerry thinks: Very kind. I am a kind man. Who else would do something like this? Nobody. Nobody thinks about people like I do. All right, snap out of it you stupid jerk. You’re eating a turkey sandwich. What do want, a nobel price? (via The Cafe)

Babu: You’re a very kind man. Very kind, thank you. Very kind…
Jerry thinks: Very kind. I am a kind man. Who else would do something like this? Nobody. Nobody thinks about people like I do. All right, snap out of it you stupid jerk. You’re eating a turkey sandwich. What do want, a nobel price?

(via The Cafe)

• •
February 25, 2012
GEORGE: So concerned was he, that word of his poor tennis skills might leak out, he chose to offer you his wife as some sort of mediaeval sexual payola?JERRY: (explanation) He’s new around here.GEORGE: (hopeful) So, details?JERRY: (walking away) Well, I didn’t sleep with her.GEORGE: Because of society, right?JERRY: (weary) Yes, George, because of society. (via The Comeback)

GEORGE: So concerned was he, that word of his poor tennis skills might leak out, he chose to offer you his wife as some sort of mediaeval sexual payola?
JERRY: (explanation) He’s new around here.
GEORGE: (hopeful) So, details?
JERRY: (walking away) Well, I didn’t sleep with her.
GEORGE: Because of society, right?
JERRY: (weary) Yes, George, because of society.

(via The Comeback)

• •
February 24, 2012
Kramer is playing the rest of The Other Side Of Darkness. The soundtrack can be heard from the TV.NURSE (O.C.): Doctor, how’s her coma?DOCTOR (O.C.): Oh, exactly the same.DOCTOR (O.C.): Wait a minute, she’s coming out of the coma.DOCTOR (O.C.): Mrs Allbright, can you hear me? Are you okay?ALLBRIGHT (O.C.): (bright and cheerful) I feel so rested and refreshed. Get me a toothbrush. (via The Comeback)

Kramer is playing the rest of The Other Side Of Darkness. The soundtrack can be heard from the TV.
NURSE (O.C.): Doctor, how’s her coma?
DOCTOR (O.C.): Oh, exactly the same.
DOCTOR (O.C.): Wait a minute, she’s coming out of the coma.
DOCTOR (O.C.): Mrs Allbright, can you hear me? Are you okay?
ALLBRIGHT (O.C.): (bright and cheerful) I feel so rested and refreshed. Get me a toothbrush.

(via The Comeback)

• •
February 23, 2012

Elaine: Since when do you wear cologne?
George: Why what I do is so important? Why must I be always the vocal point of attention? Let me just be, let me live.

(via The Cafe)

• •
February 22, 2012
ELAINE: Hey, do you believe I got happy new year today? It’s February.JERRY: I once got Happy new Year in July.ELAINE: It’s… JERRY: It’s pathetic. (via The Dinner Party)

ELAINE: Hey, do you believe I got happy new year today? It’s February.
JERRY: I once got Happy new Year in July.
ELAINE: It’s…
JERRY: It’s pathetic.

(via The Dinner Party)

• •
February 21, 2012

GEORGE: So—ah, Kramer. Why’d you ask me out to dinner? [amused] An’ why Pomodoro?
KRAMER: Allison spoke to me, and um. She wanted me to speak to you.
GEORGE: Uh-oh.
KRAMER: We all know that this relationship isn’t working. So Allison an’ I think that the best thing to do is just.. make a, clean break.
GEORGE: Can’t we discuss this?
KRAMER: We just don’t think you’re ready for a serious relationship!
GEORGE: I didn’t even know you wanted to get serious!
KRAMER: So what am I in this for? You know, I’m getting to a point in my life where I need something more than just.. a good time.
GEORGE: Are you?
KRAMER: Wha—me? No! No. But she is.
GEORGE: I, I can’t believe this is happening!
KRAMER: George, we’re sorry. [pause] We’re through..
GEORGE: Krama. Please.
KRAMER: [leaves, upset] Waaa-aa—aa! I’m sorry—

(via The Suzie)

• •
February 20, 2012
ELAINE: Can you believe this woman?JERRY: [ironic outrage] The nerve. Talkin’ about ya behind your back—and right to your face!ELAINE: No. “Suze!” I mean, “Suzie!” “Suzanne!” “Suzanna.” Fine! But there is no, way, I’m gonna be a Suze.JERRY: No. No Suze. (via The Suzie)

ELAINE: Can you believe this woman?
JERRY: [ironic outrage] The nerve. Talkin’ about ya behind your back—and right to your face!
ELAINE: No. “Suze!” I mean, “Suzie!” “Suzanne!” “Suzanna.” Fine! But there is no, way, I’m gonna be a Suze.
JERRY: No. No Suze.

(via The Suzie)

• •
February 19, 2012

JERRY: She wants to talk?
GEORGE: She doesn’t Want to talk, she needs to talk.
JERRY: Nobody needs to talk.
GEORGE: Who would Want to? She tried to end it with me, Jerry.
JERRY: What’d ya do?
GEORGE: I told her I was out o’ soda, I went out to get some, an’ I never went back.
JERRY: [pause] All night?!
GEORGE: Yeah, I slept at my parents’ house.
JERRY: And she wants to break up with you..

(via The Suzie)

• •
February 18, 2012
Elaine: Yeah, well, he’s in perfect health. He works out, he’s vibrant. You’d really like him.Jerry: Why do people always say that? I hate everyone, why would I like him? (via The Alternate Side)

Elaine: Yeah, well, he’s in perfect health. He works out, he’s vibrant. You’d really like him.
Jerry: Why do people always say that? I hate everyone, why would I like him?

(via The Alternate Side)

• •
February 17, 2012

Monica: Oh, I think you’re making too much of this. IQ tests don’t mean anything.
George: Are you kidding me? This is the best tool we have today of measuring a persons intelligence.
Monica: Well, I certainly don’t place any importance on it.
George: Well, I think you’re wrong about that. And now if you would excuse me, I would like to get started please.
Monica: Good luck.

(via The Cafe)

• •
February 16, 2012
GEORGE: An’ wait’ll you see the dress that she’s got. It’s backless! Uh?! I’m finally gonna make a Great Entrance!ELAINE: Backless? Ya gonna back her in?GEORGE: Elaine, when a woman makes a Ball Entrance.. she twirls.ELAINE: She’s not gonna twi—GEORGE: She’ll Twirl. (via The Suzie)

GEORGE: An’ wait’ll you see the dress that she’s got. It’s backless! Uh?! I’m finally gonna make a Great Entrance!
ELAINE: Backless? Ya gonna back her in?
GEORGE: Elaine, when a woman makes a Ball Entrance.. she twirls.
ELAINE: She’s not gonna twi—
GEORGE: She’ll Twirl.

(via The Suzie)

• •
February 15, 2012
KRAMER: Oh, by the way: you owe Mike a hundred dollars.JERRY: What for?KRAMER:  Well I put a bet down for ya on tonight’s game. Yeah, if the Knicks beat the Pacers by more than thirty-five? It pays ten to one. Oo-oo! That’s some sweet action!JERRY: But I don’t want any “sweet action.”KRAMER: Well, I couldn’t do it: I got a gamblin’ problem.JERRY: So you put down my money?!KRAMER: You don’t have a problem.JERRY: Not that, no.. (via The Suzie)

KRAMER: Oh, by the way: you owe Mike a hundred dollars.
JERRY: What for?
KRAMER:  Well I put a bet down for ya on tonight’s game. Yeah, if the Knicks beat the Pacers by more than thirty-five? It pays ten to one. Oo-oo! That’s some sweet action!
JERRY: But I don’t want any “sweet action.”
KRAMER: Well, I couldn’t do it: I got a gamblin’ problem.
JERRY: So you put down my money?!
KRAMER: You don’t have a problem.
JERRY: Not that, no..

(via The Suzie)

• •
February 14, 2012
Jerry: Bazooka Joe. (via The Cafe)

Jerry: Bazooka Joe.

(via The Cafe)

• •
February 13, 2012

George: Hey, if I were a gigolo, how much do you think I could charge a night?
Elaine: Here, or in Japan?
George: What’s the difference?
Elaine: Well, the Japanese are more enlightened. They can see beyond the physical.
George: Forget Japan, how much would you pay?
Elaine: Oh, I don’t know. A dollar?
George: I think I am worth at least 300.
Elaine (laughs): I don’t think so!
George: Hey, it’s for all night!
Elaine: I know!
George: You are demeaning me.
Elaine: You are a gigolo!
George: Well, you hired me. I am the victim here.
Elaine: Did I force you into this line?
George: Yes. You and every woman like you.

(via The Suzie)

• •
February 12, 2012
GEORGE: (incredulous) I look just like him. I. Me. This! This is what her boyfriend looks like. How is that possible?JERRY: Maybe he has money.GEORGE: (wondering) Maybe he doesn’t. Maybe he and I are exactly the same, except for one minor, yet crucial, detail. You never know.JERRY: Sometimes you do.GEORGE: Maybe it’s some small thing I could change. Like a mustache. Or wearing a top hat, or a monocle, or a..or a cane.JERRY: Who’s she dating? Mr Peanut? Jerry opens the door as George looks at him.GEORGE: (pointedly) She could do a lot worse than Mr Peanut, my friend. George leaves, followed by Jerry. (via The English Patient)

GEORGE: (incredulous) I look just like him. I. Me. This! This is what her boyfriend looks like. How is that possible?
JERRY: Maybe he has money.
GEORGE: (wondering) Maybe he doesn’t. Maybe he and I are exactly the same, except for one minor, yet crucial, detail. You never know.
JERRY: Sometimes you do.
GEORGE: Maybe it’s some small thing I could change. Like a mustache. Or wearing a top hat, or a monocle, or a..or a cane.
JERRY: Who’s she dating? Mr Peanut?
Jerry opens the door as George looks at him.
GEORGE: (pointedly) She could do a lot worse than Mr Peanut, my friend.
George leaves, followed by Jerry.

(via The English Patient)

• •